Book Making

I've made a really nice leather bound journal, and it took me only two days! It would have been completed in one day, but I had to go out and get errands run. It is so totally awesome and I made in with a fraction of the cost of a premade leather bound journal found at any high-end book store (Barned and Noble, Borders). Seriously, about 2/4 the cost! The leather I used was 3-4 oz boar hide, a nice, course, and tough but supple leather, blank 20# printer paper, waxed cotten thread, needle, craft awe and that was it. I don't know why more people don't bound thier own blank journals. It's so damned easy! Now how do I add photos onto this thing? The journal has 120 pages, and is 6 1/2 by 8 1/2.

On the mystical note...

I had a strange dream last night about being bite by a vampire. It was really strange...and seemed ultra real. I did watch a nature program last night about actual vampire bats and how they were praying exclusively on the humans that inhabit a far off exotic island. I was going into an attic and there was this small bat hanging from a low ceiling beam. The bat falls down and I'm thinking it was startled by my precense. So being the nature loving being that I am, I went to pick it up intent on putting it someplace safer than where it was, when it turned and seemed to look straight at me as if aware of me as a person, not a threat. I froze, seemingly mystified at the very aware bat. Then the bat, in a swirl of black mist, turned into a man in full classic vampire attire complete with the large cape. I was scared, amazed, and befuddled all at the same time. I turn to run away and he grabs me tightly on my shoulders, says something in my ear that I cannot remember and sinks his teeth into my neck without any hesitation. It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't sensual. It wasn't sexual. It was painful. But I couldn't move, and I couldn't wiggle away. He had overpowered me and drained me of my strength. I soon became weak in my knees and as they gave out he did not allow me to fall lumply onto the floor, but held me tightly, still drinking from me, and gently lowered me to the floor. Even as I write this I feel an anxiety I cannot place. Suddenly we seem to be in the back part of Joanns Fabrics where the bargin fabrics are (go fig on that one). He releases me, stands, then dissapears in a shimmer of space and time.


Now the BF and I have been having some hard times with each other, and I am thinking that is where this is stemming from. I feel like I have no where to go and my life is being sucked from me as if I am wasting my time. He is stealing my power, my strength as a woman.

*sigh* I dunno...funny thing this love. He don't abuse me in any way. He's just...unattentive and seemingly uninterested in what I have to say or what I want to do. It's important to him for me to be home by a curtain time, then I cannot do what I want to do or be out as long as I would like. He feels like a parent to me...not a lover. I guess I know how he feels with me now. I am not sure how a two people who feel like this towards each other can live with each other in a mutually equal sexual relationship. He's been more friendly and loving these past couple of days. He wants sex. I ain't givin. I am not having sex with a man who swings so much. One day he is lovable, the next he acts like I am not even here. Grrrrr. MEN! I tried to snuggle last night with him, and he moves away from me. So...as much as I hate to admit it, but this relationship is on the rocks...big, pointy, sharp ones...like volcanic rock and the volcano is very active.

Until next time...

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