Fallen, Yet Unbroken

Fallen, Yet Unbroken

O! That damned *oath!
I have *oblige to *observe
the ways *of another
To *obtain knowledge
and grow out from the *ordinary.
Oh, what an *odd space I *occupy.

I was *obsessive
to the point of it all blurring,
until it became so very, very *obscure.

I felt oblige to continue,
if only for the sake
of my loyalty.
So I did *offer it,
silently and unspoken,
it was taken...for granted.

I didn't want to become
like all the others,
to get what I wanted
and then dissapear.
I wanted to stick around
after the curtain was shut,
after the glammer was gone,
and help out the best I could.
I didn't want this *or that,
I wanted and worked,
for both.

That loyalty that I harbored
was the *obstruct
to my path of growth.
I blindly followed,
without a thought,
as to where I was going.

After it all fell upon me,
A light had turned *off,
I drifted into the darkness
that had been slowly
sneaking up on me,
during all those years,
of loyal supporting.

It would eat me whole...
if I gave in...if I allowed it.
Oh I was tempted,
I was tempted to cross to the other side
I wanted to chew it up
and spit it back out!
Curse it!
Hate it!
Loath it!
even..., yesssssss...kill...it...

My dreams had stopped,
my inspiration was dead
I felt only dread.
My skills failed me
my beliefs, they buckled
I stumbled hopelessly
but only for a little while.

The ever *omnipresent Divinity
still stood beside me,
even if I could not see it,
even if I could not sense or feel it,
it was there to guide me *out of the dark
and to bring back that spark,
that would turn the light in me on again,
so I could see which way
the good path went.

Thankfully, I say to myself now,
I had not ventured too far off
and finding it again
was only a matter
of...Holy Counsil.


Sometimes we have to slip
into the darkness that is ever present
ever creeping, slinking, behind us
ever eager to eat us whole
in order for us to *open up
and enlighten to something new,
something more challenging,
something we are destined
to learn more of...
or simply to find that path
we are destined to take.
Because we cannot see it,
or we refuse to see it,
it's not of our concious choosing,
and it is never easily understood.
So the light goes away for awhile...
So that when it comes back,
everything is new-born to us, again....
and again, and again, and again
until finally
we find our place
we find our gifts
we find, finally...
Our Peace.

9.29.06

Until next time...