Reconnecting with my Sacred Source

Since I am jobless for the time being, not only do I desire to get some creative endeavors done, I also have a desire to reconnect with my inner Sacred Source of which I have felt a disconnect from of late.

So I have pulled out a couple books and started reading them. While reading one that was speaking a lot on energy and how we affect our lives with or without intending to...several recent things that have happened to be came to mind. And well here I am blogging about it...more for myself than anything.

My friend and I recently visited Noah's Ark, a waterpark here in Wisconsin, in the Dells. I took my favorite towel which was big enough to wrap around my plump self almost twice. I've had it for years. We were joking about the fact that they, the park, donate hundreds of towels during the course of the season to local second hand stores because they are left behind. Why anyone would leave behind their towel is beyond me, unless they really didn't care for it in the first place.

So I jokingly said "If someone wants to steal my towel, then they can have it. It's just a towel right? It's not clean either." Har-har-har! So I wrapped my favorite cover up, a batik piece in fire colors, into the middle of the towel and stuffed it into a PVC "storage" holding space. And I mean I really stuffed it...it was so big I had to jam it all in there. It was in there good.

Wouldn't you know it, when we came back down off the ride, my towel was GONE but my cover up was there, in the space where my towel was.

What, the fuck?!!

I was awestruck and sickened all at once. I had given the universe permission to steal my towel. I totally did.

Talk about words have power!!

I wore my cover up for the rest of the trip, afraid that it too would be stolen. LOL! I can laugh about it now, but I was really bummed that my favorite towel disappeared and it was completely my own fault.

In other instances, I have said "I will win-I will win" when faced with a lottery draw for a prize. This has happened more than once and just happened not more than a week ago when we visited the quilt shop for the monthly block meet. Every month they hold a drawing, pull a name out of the hat, winner picks one of three bags of surprises. First name drawn??

MINE.

I don't really know how I align myself for it to happen, but the real question is...how do I apply it to bigger things like finding the right job? Or even, finding someone to love and keep me company?  Or, why stop there? Win an effin money lottery!

How is it, that I can give away my favorite towel, and be drawn for a prize out of a bucket of 20+ names on multiple occasions....but not be able to find what I want in a job or win some money?? ROFLMAO!!

Am I somehow holding myself back, afraid of what I might be able to accomplish?

How do I open myself up to receiving what I deserve and what will make me happy? Am I "addicted to unhappiness"?

Small feats pale in comparison to the bigger life changing events.

And I swear, when those storms rolled through....I was tempted to call a 'nader in, but I was too chicken shit see if it would work. I was ready for a redo. At that moment, I really was.

So, yea know, random ponderings.

Maybe I will work on calling some money in, and be OPEN to getting and having more than enough.



Until next time...
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